When you know you can totally trust your mate, it removes a large potential for worry. It also builds your internal security so that you not only feel good about your partner, but you also feel better about life. Having an honest relationship creates a kind of buffer between you and the difficulties of the world. Having a mate you can trust and rely on also makes it easier to take those risks that help us grow.
Many people feel that little white lies, which may spare their partner some grief, are okay, and in some cases that’s true. But you can’t have a culture of honesty in your relationship just some of the time. If you tend to omit or color the truth, so things look a better, it could actually damage your relationship at a core level. Trying to “protect” your partner or just trying to avoid looking bad can create more trouble than it’s worth. It is best to be above board in all your dealings.
When asked about what qualities they want in a partner, most people will list “honesty” among them. Unfortunately, most of us have had the experience of being lied to. When you have a relationship and a family, you need to know that everyone is on the same page, and this is hard to do unless both of you are being honest.
What honesty gives you is a great deal of comfort. Knowing you can implicitly trust your mate allows you to be your best self, and your relationship will continue to thrive because you are able to give each other the positive energy you need to navigate life’s ups and downs.
Honesty is not just about telling the truth, either. It is also about telling the truth in a way that your partner will hear it and benefit from it. We all want to hear how great we are, of course, but we can also benefit from making some slight adjustments in how we do things. This is where a little honesty from someone you love and trust will help you make the small changes that can make your world a better place.
In this case, honesty needs to be tender. If you have to say something to your loved one that may be unsetting to him or her, I suggest you do it as gently as possible. “Brutal honesty” has gotten a lot of press lately, but I have seen it do more damage than good. You need to present your issues with some degree of kindness. If not, your message may be buried in an avalanche of hurt feelings.You will both be much more able to communicate if your hearts are not wounded in the process.
Honesty is a way of life, not just a behavior. Keeping it paramount in your relationship will bring in more good and keep the bad stuff at bay. Knowing you can totally trust one another brings a type of freedom and comfort that helps your relationship work in the best way possible.
What scriptures and other resources will help the young women feel the importance of honesty?
Psalm 101:7; Proverbs 12:22; 2 Corinthians 4:2; Ephesians 4:29; Alma 27:27; Articles of Faith 1:13 (Be honest and upright in all things)
Acts 5:1–10 (We cannot lie to the Lord)
2 Nephi 9:34; Alma 12:1-5 (Dishonesty is a sin with serious consequences)
Joseph Smith—History 1:21–25 (Joseph’s experience of being honest in the face of persecution)
Thomas S. Monson, “Preparation Brings Blessings,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2010, 64–67
Robert C. Gay, “What Shall a Man Give in Exchange for His Soul?” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2012, 34–36
Ann M. Dibb, “I Believe in Being Honest and True,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2011, 115–18
“Honesty and Integrity,” For the Strength of Youth (2011), 19
“Honesty,” True to the Faith (2004), 84
Video: “Honesty: You Better Believe It”
Teaching in the Savior’s way
The Savior invited those who followed Him to act in faith and live the truths He taught. What can you do to help the young women act in faith to gain a better understanding of the importance of being honest?